The family home: a guide for every generation
Helping parents downsize, inheriting a house, buying a home the whole family can share. Plain-language first steps, with official links. General information, not legal or tax advice.
Helping parents downsizeInherited a houseLiving togetherBuying with family
👵 Helping your parents downsize
Start with what they wantCloser to the grandkids, one floor, less upkeep, or staying put with help. The right answer is theirs.
Know the numbers firstWhat the house would sell for, what a smaller place costs, and what moving costs. A free market analysis gives you the first number.
Check property tax exemptionsNew York homeowners 65+ may qualify for Enhanced STAR and a senior exemption. See tax.ny.gov/star and ask your town assessor.
Take it one room at a timeDecide early who keeps the family photos, recipes and heirlooms. It is the hardest part, and the most important.
🏠 You inherited a house in New York: first steps
Secure and insure itChange the locks if needed, keep the heat on in winter, and tell the insurance company the owner has died. Empty homes need the right policy.
Find out who has authorityUsually the executor named in the will, appointed by the Surrogate's Court (letters testamentary). Without a will, the court appoints an administrator. NY CourtHelp has a "When someone dies" guide.
Get the date-of-death valueIt usually sets your tax basis if you sell. Keep the appraisal or market analysis. See IRS Publication 551.
Talk to an estate attorney before you listEspecially if there are several heirs, a mortgage, or relatives living in the house.
🏡 Living together: two-family and mother-daughter homes
Two-family housesA legal two-family can house grandparents upstairs, or bring in rent that helps with the mortgage.
Accessory apartmentsRules for a separate apartment in a one-family house vary by town on Long Island, and many require a permit. Check with your town building department before you buy or build.
Loans for familySome loan programs allow family members who won't live in the home to co-sign. A lender can explain the options.
🤝 Buying with family
Gift money for the down paymentLenders usually accept gifts from family, with a gift letter and a paper trail. Ask your lender before anyone moves money.
Put it in writingWhen siblings or parents buy together, agree in writing who pays what and what happens if someone wants out.
You sign an agreement with your agentSince August 2024 buyers sign a short written agreement before touring homes. It says how the agent is paid. Ask questions until it is clear.
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